Sophie is gone…

Yesterday I had to make the hardest choice…

My youngest cat (Shown on my title bar and in my Gravatar) was 13 years old, had health issues from birth defects all her life and a sassy attitude that made you forget she had them.

A little over 2 weeks ago, I took her to the vet, as she was losing weight fast, even with eating regularly. Did the blood panel and it found some elevation in her white blood cell counts and not much else, it was suspected she had a respiratory infection and was given an antibiotic shot and sent home to see if that cleared things up. Thing improved and I thought it would just be the challenge of getting weight back on her left to worry about.

On Thursday evening, she started looked off and I was concerned, this was the long weekend and I just couldn’t afford the Emergency vet if she was getting sick again.

Friday morning, she was suddenly very lethargic and super sucky, so I tucked her in a scarf tied into a sling and babied her all day and evening. She seemed to perk up a little and I hoped I could get her through the weekend.

Saturday morning, I woke up to her limp and barely responsive on the bed next to me. I grabbed her and gave her a light shake and she woke up enough to meow at me, I tried to help her stand up and she fell over and peed herself. I cleaned her up and tried to get her to eat, she flat refused anything, even the soft food in a syringe. I tried water, again she just didn’t seem to have the strength to swallow more than a few drops. Now I am frantic, she has crashed so fast… What do I do?

The only thing I could do, tucked her in her sling and called the emergency vet and find out how much to give her some final peace without suffering. Way more than I could afford, even with help from family. That left me with no choice, except to keep her cuddled, warm, calm and loved. For hours I had watched as she slipped farther and farther down… My heart breaking a little more that I couldn’t afford to let her go fast and peacefully.

At 2:45pm, Saturday July 2nd, she took her last breath and quietly slipped away in my arms.

I was in shock and my mom, suspecting this would happen, sent my dad to come sit vigil with me. He arrived just after she passed and helped to drag my brain out of the shock and deal with her remains for the time being. Grieving is hard, with my mental health, it has been even harder. Seeing things that reminded me of her, or thinking of something related to her set off panic attacks, not just waves of tears, torrents and the heart palpitations were huge (They still are today.) I have already had another huge cry again today and am struggling with the whole thing, I don’t know how to, safely and in a healthy way, deal with my grief.

Trying to deal with the guilt of not being able to take her to the vet. The voices in my head that whisper it was all my fault, I should have taken her to the vet sooner, I could have done better to try and help her… I know it is all just the grief and my twisted brain, it doesn’t help though. I am suffering today and those around me, remind me this is normal. I had 13 fantastic years with my Sophie. She had health issues that once made it iffy that she would make it out of kittenhood, yet she lived a dang good life for herself full of love, cuddles, treats, and frustration when her sassy-ness went too far and things ended up on the floor or some other disaster…

I need to remember, I did that for her. Filled her life full of love and goodness, even when she was a pain in the butt. Rest in peace my Kitten Cat, Momma loves you!

Thanks for “listening”…

Let there be warm things…

So I have talked about my knitting… and lately I am working on stuff that I have available for sale.
Finding a decent venue to sell it is another challenge.  I am lucky if I sell one or two items at any sale, fair, festival or bazzar and I usually end up paying as much or more than I sold to attend these events.  Frustrating and disheartening…

In that light, I would like to show off some of the stuff I have available here… just to put it out there in case anyone is looking for a gift idea for themselves or a loved one.  If not, just a place to showcase what I have done wouldn’t hurt either *wink*

Brand new, hand knit beanie hats made out of 100% merino wool yarn.
Basic and slouched styles currently available. ($15 CND each if you are interested)

~ Black slouched style

~ Grey with green and red stripe basic style

~ Dark green with light green and black basic style

~ Dusty rose slouched style

~ Red, dusty rose, grey and natural slouched style (SOLD)

I also have shawls that I have been doing…

This one is wool, nylon and angora with a mystery eyelash yarn for the fuzzy highlights

Son graciously offered to model one for me!

A different style of shawl…

This one is 100% merino wool and that lovely colourful edge is all hand dyed too.  The colour of the main body is a purple and not a blue like the camera shows.

I have a list of shawls and other stuff I’ve got done and just can’t seem to get the best pictures done of them to show to advantage.  Trying to do this all on my own is a challenge, I need a good day when all the stars are aligned to make it work I guess.  It might be a decent fall and winter project to look into doing… I’ll take it under consideration.

I am able to take paypal from all countries and you can email me at: ladyryl[at]gmail.com if you have any questions or are interested in buying one of the items I have posted here.

For now, I hope you enjoy a quick glimpse into what keeps me occupied throughout the year.

Long time, no see…

It’s been awhile since I have posted, so I thought I would try and drop by fix that… lol

I have been knitting up a small storm of projects in the last year….  Sweaters, shawls, hats, mitts, scarves, cowls… I have been keeping the knitting needles pretty busy.  Occasionally, I have pulled out the spinning wheel and done some work with it, not much though.

This shawl was made entirely from my handspun yarn!

Sweater for my son

Sweater for me

Mitts in Handspun yarn for my daughter-in-law

Hat in handspun yarn for my daughter-in-law

Gift for a Dear Friend

Shawl for sale

Shawl for sale

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is just a sample of what I have been doing…

So lately the urge to spin has returned and it has been nice to finally get back into the treadle of all things spinning.  I finally finished off a roving I had started spinning up during 2018 (a lovely pink toned batch called “English Garden”) and started up a new roving (a multi-coloured batch called “Archangel”).

Finished this batch of roving

 

Started this lovely roving

These are both 100% merino wool that I picked up when a local store was having a really good sale.  They are being spun up very fine and then I will spin another single in a white merino wool & silk blend to ply with so the colours really have a chance to pop.  This will take time, as I am only able to do around 30-60 minutes of spinning per day right now (due to the pain I am also dealing with) and the fact I am spinning it so fine… It will get done though!

I do have a big project on the needles, a circular throw in a lovely chennille yarn called Velvet.  Plus my time filling dishclothes for when I am waiting in a doctor’s office, travelling on the bus or or on the rare occasion I am sitting watching TV… so I have not totally abandoned my knitting – LOL

All things crafty are limited more than usual by health issues this winter.  I have been on a new medication that has helped keep me from being totally blind-sided by the pain portion, so I am happy to take what I can grab in crafting time and do my best to fill as much of my day with it as I am able.

I have items that I am hoping to put up for sale and would like to know if you are interested in my posting them here?  Let me know in the comments if you are…

Bye for now!

Can crowd funding really work..??

I have been considering a service dog for many years now and recently tried applying to training centres that offered dogs that the fees were all or mostly covered.  I have been turned down due to my case being too complex for them to provide a trained dog for me and they wouldn’t give me less than what I needed.  This is totally fair, but that leaves me with no other option but to raise funds to for a dog where the fees aren’t covered.  A well trained dog for my needs can start at $25,000.00 and go up to $40,000.00 or more.  This is why I am hoping you, the public will help.  Such a fee is absolutely reasonable,  but beyond my means as I am on disability.  I am currently working on applying to a training centre that feel they can help me, so I am taking the step to raise funds in the hope I am being proactive in my future!

For years I have known there where complicated things going on with me, but other than being diagnosed with a severe and slowly progressive form of Fibromyalgia, bad knees, crazy loose joints, no one could seem to determine exactly what was going on.  Over time my mobility got worse and now I am in a wheelchair part-time, while trying to stay as mobile as I can on crutch and cane, I am still pretty unstable most days.  Chronic general neuropathic & muscle pain, muscle spasms, chronic muscle tension, numbness and dizzy spells are common everyday things I deal with making applying for a service dog a valid reason to start with…

Recently my new family doctor came on board and started sending me to specialists and it was discovered that I have diabetes and also diagnosable psychiatric issues such as cPTSD, BPD/EID, and severe anxiety that makes going out in public on my own a very stressful effort just to consider, let alone do….

This is the beginning of my message for fund-raising money for a service dog… I paid the money to the doctor and the centre to apply for a dog that would be covered and was denied.  I called another place and they won’t charge me to apply or interview, but the dog isn’t covered.  They are certain they can help based on a half hour phone call, that it would be easy, just a matter of finding the right kind of dog, doing the training…. All I have to do is come up with the money to pay them for their time and efforts.  Easy, right??  *Sigh*  Not so much, after much stress and over-thinking, I am trying the crowd funding idea.  If I can raise enough to get a dog, it would be the best gift for myself I could have…

Please consider donating or sharing my page and let’s see how far I can go to raise the money I need to actually get a dog.

 

THANKS!

Ode to Allergies

Sniffle, sniffle, snort…
Cough, cough, HACK…
Sniffle, sneeze, honk…
Honk, snort, sneeze, sneeze…
SNEEZE, SNEEZE, AHCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…!!!!!!!!!!!!
HONK, HONK, HONK!
Snort, honk…

Shuffle, shuffle, rattle, shake, gulp….
Tick, tock, tick, tock, sigh……

To those who suffer as I do, solidarity to the tissue holders!

To those that do not, I honk in your general direction you lucky buggers…

Flash Fiction #5

Grandfather had found it in his young and foolish days he would say and with a year of hard work earned enough to lay claim to it for the price of the land.

This place started out as an abandoned outpost, on an old border.  Modern times had moved the border and the threats, leaving this place without a purpose.

Decades spent building and breathing new life into it had finally turned it into a home that had raised 2 generations of children so far.  Soon a third generation will be living and playing here…

Grandfather will be so happy.

 

 

Go to Rochelle’s Addicted to Purple site and use her Wednesday photo as a prompt to write a 100 word story.

Taste of Asia Burgers

OK, I had planned on writing a blog up about other things today.  I am trying to keep up with my plan to post a blog of some sort on each Saturday or Sunday.  Had a plan; an idea too… Apparently my plan slide sideways as my health pulled rank on me and I had other things on my mind, so I am falling back on another idea that was being held in reserve for just this reason…

I had a hankering one day recently to make something of a fine parcel of ground pork, originally bought to make a particular recipe, but that didn’t happen as planned and I wanted to get it used before it went bad.  After hunting around the internet for an idea of what else I might make with it, the idea of going with Asian spices and a burger format sounded like a fun way to go.  I read through a few recipes and made notes of the various types and amounts of spices and finally settled on what I was going to do.  Knowing my gauze-like memory, I made notes on my notes as I was working to be sure any changes or additions were recorded before they escaped me like dust in the wind.  When it came time to cook them, I decided to bake them and then heat them up as I planned to eat them later

Once the mouth-watering smells [and the timer] said they had cooked enough, I pulled them out to find a pool of tawny juices lurking in the bottom of the pan.  Not wanting them to go to waste, I went to reach for a container to pour them into when a light bulb flickered in the dim interior of my mind…  This would be fantastic to cook up some onions in, like those Harmony Burgers [ARCHON] has mentioned here, but with an Asian Flair to them.  Be still my growling stomach!  Onions, juices, pan, heat and it looked good already, but that bulb went off in that dim brain of mine once again and suddenly a secret ingredient was added to the pan – Pickled Ginger!  Wait!  What do you mean not everyone keeps a jar of pickled ginger in their fridge?  No worries, I’ve added a substitute recipe for that too.

I lost track of time as I nibbled one of the finished patties, warm off the pan, while I tossed the onions around and worked at getting them cooked up right.  Soon the juices from the pan and the onions created a nice caramelization, they were declared done and ready to taste test.  My mouth was saying they had turned out mighty good for a slap-dash-into-the-pan idea, so I dished out another patty and tried the two of them together, in a word, yum; just yum.  Once again I was excited how a glimmer of an idea had turned out into a fantastic food idea.

Notes were transcribed to the computer before my scribbles turned into untranslatable squiggles and I started making notes at the bottom of the digital copy with an idea for making the onions if you decided to grill the burgers and didn’t have the juices.  Since there were not enough onions to go around for those remaining, I set out another night to test my noted ideas. A fine set of ideas they were too!  Wandering back to the computer to make a few minor adjustments and what do you know here was a full service recipe is born and ready to share.

So for the few who follow me, my gift to you and anyone you wish to share it with:

Asian Flair Burgers With Ginger Caramelized Onions

Taste of Asia Burgers © 2014

Serve these Orient-inspired burgers topped with the Ginger Caramelized Onions listed below on sesame buns with a side of stir-fried veggies or a nice salad.

Ingredients

• 1 tbsp soy sauce or tamari
• 1 tbsp oyster sauce or fish sauce
• 1 tbsp dry sherry
• 2 tsp sesame oil
• 1/2 tsp hot pepper sauce [like Siracha]
• 1½ tsp garlic chili paste
• 2 tsp grated ginger root
• 1½ lb lean ground pork

Mix & mash all ingredients together in a bowl until well mixed, cover and place in refrigerator for at least one hour.  Take out and divide into 12 equal balls and form each into a patty.  Place patties in a flat baking pan with sides and bake at 350°F for 25 minutes.  Remove pan from oven, move patties to a platter and reserve juices for the caramelized onions.  Re-heat the patties under the broiler or throw them on the Grill/BBQ to really give them some flavour!

Ginger Caramelized Onions

The perfect accompaniment to the Asian Flair Burgers, these onions borrow the flavour from the juices left from the burgers to create a unique version of an old classic. 

Ingredients

• ½ Cup reserved juices from Asian Flair Burgers
• 3 Tsp finely chopped pickled ginger
• 2½ cups slices onions

Cut each onion in half and thinly slice each half.  In a frying pan on medium-low heat, carefully pour in juices, add pickled ginger and onions.  Gently break onions apart and stir until ginger is well incorporated. Cook for approximately 25-30 minutes, stirring regularly until onions turn translucent and the sauce thickens.  Add salt & pepper to taste, serve as desired.

** If you want the special onions and don’t have reserved juices, here is a substitute recipe.  Using this version of the onion recipe might require longer cooking time [approx. 45 minutes] to get the sugars in the sauce and onions to caramelize properly.

Ingredients:

• 1/3 cup broth of your choice [or water if you just don’t have any]
• 1  tsp soy sauce or tamari
• 1  tsp oyster sauce or fish sauce
• 1  tsp dry sherry
• ¾ tsp of your favourite cooking oil + ¼ tsp sesame oil
• ½ tsp chili garlic paste

No pickled ginger?  Put 3 tsp regular minced/finely chopped ginger in a small bowl, add ½ tsp sugar and 1 tsp rice or white vinegar and let sit for ½ hour before adding to recipe.

Handmade gifts for 2013 Holidays

Just a quick post to share…

I had a very good year for making handmade gifts in 2013.

A friend has opened up her studio one day a week and I have been doing some neat stuff there that ended up being good enough to offer up as gifts.  In fact I had at least two people as for certain pieces if I was in a mood to give them up.  So after hunting down some nice frames and spending an afternoon doing the work, they were added to my pile of gifts that were ready to go.

For mom

For Son

For BFF #1

For BFF #2

I found a sweet set of figurines that seemed to be perfect for my brother, except for the ghastly colour they were painted.  Kind of a crap brown with a few badly placed spots of cream that were meant to be highlights.  I spent the money [it was through a hospital gift shop, the money goes to fund the hospital] and decided to do a new paint job on them.  I forgot to take a before photo, but here is how they turned out.

bro’s Buddha’s

Next came the knitted goods…  I meant to try and get it all done, but I was down to the wire on Son’s socks to the point were I forgot to snap a photo, but they got wrapped and packed in time for gift giving on the big day.  Here are some of the other things I did get done, a cowl and a pair of hand-spun, hand-knit, lined mitts for d-i-l.  You will just have to imagine the socks in your head… tube style, green cuffs, purple foot… what can I say, the kids love funky socks!

k’s cowl

k’s mitts

[EDIT – Son stopped by for a few minutes to grab some stuff before heading back out and happened to be wearing his hand-knit socks so I grabbed a quick photo of them in situ to add here]

So that left the items in which only some of the parts were done and some were still in progress, the house vest for my mom [which BFF #1 was helping with] and a hand-spun, hand-knit mobious cowl for BFF #1.   The Vest for mom still needs to be seamed and finished, but the cowl is done except for the sewing in of the yarn ends… looks pretty nice though, the trim has fur from her poodle who died a couple of years back spun into the yarn, so it’s a lovely memory piece for her too.

BFF #1’s cowl

I will have to take a photo and share the vest when it is finally done, but I hope you have enjoyed my handmade gift gallery from  the 2013 holidays.

Such a simple idea…

For anyone that isn’t a spinner that needs to wash out skeins after they are finished being spun, who like me, waits until I have a bunch [or a couple dozen] of them to do all together and make the effort worth the time, you can take a pass on this blog if you want…

For anyone who is, please read on…  I got a brilliant light bulb moment back about 6 months ago and finally tested my theory out the whole way and I have to say it saved me a ton of stress and angst.  I use the washing machine, fill it with hot soapy water, soak them awhile, spin them out, add a bit of vinegar to the rinse water, soak again, spin out again and then hang them to dry.  While they are all going through that washing, rinsing, being all wet cycle, my paper tags can’t stay with each skein and then I lose track of what each one is and yardages on each, etc.  Memory like a sieve most days, some of you have to hear me on this…

anyway, brilliant idea came about when I realized there were a pile of bread tags in a dish that we had been saving for some reason no one could remember and I was going to toss them out when I happened upon the idea of using them as ID tags for my skeins.

I picked out the white tags with no printing on them and with a sharpie marker I started labelling them “A, B, C, D, …” and so on until I got to R [ran out of tags at that point], then I grabbed hinged ring to keep them all together and neat while not in use.  All I needed was a notebook and I started ID’ing my skeins and listing all the pertinent information on that skein under the letter on the bread tag.

Finally got to a point where I really needed wash the skeins I had finished, or make up more bread tags and tossed all my skeins into a wash & rinse cycle… Lo & behold!  There are all my skeins, clearly tagged and now I just have to refer to my notebook to create paper labels for each one once they are dry and ready for sale or storage.

How easy [and cool] is that!

Commandments I could be inspired by…

I was sent this by email from a friend of mine and felt it was worthy of sharing…

The Paradoxical Commandments

by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.