Men With Alien Brains…

OK, I am a bit steamed, so prepare for an unusual sight on my blog… a full fledged rant!

Men can pass this by; ignore it if it doesn’t apply to you and sorry to the males in my family for a potential TMI moment…

I know that many men in the world think equally with both heads, that sex ranks right up there with eating, drinking and breathing, and a relationship must include sex to outweigh the grudging willingness to express feelings or watch chick flicks now and then, yet it seems that to even be considered as worthy of dating, a woman should be prepared to put out to “get her man” in a timely fashion or he will move on and look for someone who will.

Real life dating is hard, online dating is harder, add to the mixture that I am a big woman and have health issues and the dating world gets a whole different level of difficulty.

I have had real life dating encounters lately that have shrivelled by the first or second date because they were expecting the fat girl to be easy pickings for getting sex.  They are stunned when they get a big fat [but polite] NO for their troubles.  So I am labelled a waste of time.  A waste of time??  Because I was not willing to drop and give you my self esteem on a platter while you got a quickie and took off after deciding the chubby chick wasn’t as much of a thrill as you expected, but hey a lay is lay… right guys??  Don’t even bother with the lie of calling me later, I know you will vanish into the internet, block me to within a nano of every privacy setting you have and pretend like you have never met me in your life if we happen to cross paths in reality ever again.  Not happening here sweetheart, the whole “I can over look the fat thing if you put out good enough” doesn’t fly in this chick’s coop!

Meet a guy online and decide a week or so [maybe longer] of chatting online is a good start to get a feel about someone before you make a meet in real life.  Somewhere safe and public with a back up person ready to give you a check-in call to make sure things are ok.  It’s a crazy world out there and a lady has to be careful you know… but he doesn’t care, he is pissed off that he is getting all frisky over on his end of the fibre optics and can’t understand why you won’t let him come over to your place [or you won’t come to his if you are so concerned about safety] and have a good time with him the day you “meet him” via chat.  I mean for some guys, a 15 minute chat up is the foreplay; he wants the main event an hour after starting the clock on your viability as his playmate.

Seriously, in this day and age asking for medical checks from a potential sexual partner is the smart thing to do before getting into the sack with random people!  Then men wonder where they got that random STD and blame it on some woman they slept with, which might be true, but then which man gave it to her?  Men sleep around and they are STUDS, women sleep with man after man trying to appeal to one of them as a partner and she is a slut. 

No apologies for the bad language here and I am not painting all men with this brush here [honestly!], but the potential partners I find that seem worth my time are taken, gay or not into me for one reason or another, which leaves me sorting through a sea of weeds trying to find a fish worth landing.  It gets frustrating after awhile, fighting to ‘land’ one only to have to throw it back due to mental mutation!  I begin to wonder if the penile brain of all these men have found a way to overcome the main brain like some leach-like alien of old B movies on late night re-runs…

*Deep Breath* 

Ok lady, time to take a moment and calm back down…

There, sanity restored, rant vented… I am feeling much better now.

Thank you for your understanding


Posted on Jan 7, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. An excellent rant! Sometimes as a guy, I’m ashamed of my gender.
    But I also got lucky and found the woman of my dreams.
    Hope you find the guy for you, and he’s smart enough to realize it.


    • I think it less about being ashamed of one’s gender mates and more about wishing we still allowed nature to weed out the stupid in our gene pool. Modern society is obsessed with protecting stupid from weeding itself out and breeding more besides to the point we are getting overrun with stupid.

      Glad you found your lady and If I do find my guy, I shall be best pleased if he is smart enough to realize what a gem he has in me.

      Thanks for your vote of confidence!


  2. Stand your ground. You’ll find someone. My experience – for whatever that’s worth – tells me you’ll find it when you’re not actually/actively looking. Personally, I’d not bother with dating sites online if that’s what you’re doing. The real life guys who do that to you… they’re not worth your time.


    • I am standing my ground, hence the desire to post my rant. Sort of putting it out there that I am not going to take any of that shit anymore.

      I am off all the dating sites now and have no intention of going back anytime soon, if at all ever again. Years of leaving my profile out there on those sites has finally worn my tolerance down to nothing. I am done…

      Real life guys who think they can get away with that kind of behaviour get shut down pretty fast, they get a shock when they realize I have a full-on bitch hiding under my kind and gentle exterior.


  3. You are making the right decision by demanding more of your potential suitors than a one night stand. Unfortunately, you are wading into online waters teeming with women who are all too willing to give in. This is why you keep meeting men who want an easy “catch.”

    What I think you need to do is look for companionship in a different place. If possible, join a community of people who share your interests. If health issues hold you back, try volunteering your time online for a cause you believe in. Reaching out to others is a positive way to meet like-minded people and to make new friends. I believe successful romantic relationships begin as friendships and grow from there.

    Stand your ground and don’t settle for less than what you absolutely deserve. The good men out there (and there are a few left) will rise to the challenge of being the one who finally lands you. For what it’s worth, it worked for me. 🙂


    • If someone landed the famous and great H.E. Ellis, her advice must be good. He must be quite a man, Ryl. I’ll scout my area, but I’m probably the only blogger or online personality here in cold-ass Kansas, USA. Do you have any church affiliations where you meet people regularly?


      • I don’t mind a decent man from your neck of the woods, but he’d have to be willing to come here if we matched up. I would not fair well in your US health care nightmare I think…

        No church for me… I think too much to be very welcome I’m afraid.


    • Online matching was easier to access than real-life opportunities, so I thought I had a better chance of “getting out there”. Turned out that it was a mixed result, I got out there better, but I attracted a less than stellar level of men and the men I approached looked at my honesty and declared I wasn’t their type… their loss.

      Find companionship and community is challenging. Getting out can be arranged, but my interests are not generally something that are shared by the male gender and when they are the males in question are usually gay or with someone else. I am trying to make a bigger effort to find new avenues of community, but unfortunately it is not easy for me.

      I hope that one day I shall have as much luck in finding my someone as you did…Thanks for your support!


  4. I found my husband (of 26.5 yrs) when I wasn’t looking. I tell my one daughter, age 21, that it is how she will find the right guy, it will hit her when she is not looking.


    • I have decided that I am taking 2014 as a year to focus on myself.

      After giving 21 years to raising my son, with him being my main focus so that he had the support needed to overcome his challenges, he has successfully achieved independent adulthood.

      So my resolution this year is focus on healing and re-developing my life as a independent woman and not as a single mother anymore. Should things happen while I am not looking, then that should fit right in with my plans… if not, I shall be better prepared for when it does happen.


  5. I like your resolution, Ryl….focus on you.


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