The Troll of Chronic Pain

It has been a fair time since I have blogged, mostly because I have not been sure what to blog about.  I am not one of those folks that feels I must advertise every moment of my day in some sort of social media and find it hard to think anyone really cares to hear about the little things I find thoughtful in my life, but endeavouring to find a tidbit to offer to the few that might care, I shall start with something that means a great deal to me today… Chronic Pain.

Have you or anyone you love had an episode in life in which you suffered a large amount of pain that you were glad to see gone once you had healed/recovered from whatever had caused it?

Were so you so thankful, glad, or giddy with joy to see the backside of that pain?

Just think for one small moment what life would be like if it had NOT taken itself off like the nasty troll it is. 

What would your life be like today if it still clung to you every day…?

Chronic pain is a companion I would rather not have living with me day in and day out.  It breaks, fractures and steals my sleep, hampers my ability to function cognitively and cheats me out of physical strength to actively engage in daily life on a regular basis.  Pain is a troll in the arse and can piss off as far as I am concerned, unfortunately a rock listens better than the troll of pain does and it has planted itself as tenaciously as a burr on my nerves.  Unfortunately this means, pain kisses kicks me daily, some days more brutally than others.  I fight back as much as I can, I am stubborn that way.  Some days I get the upper hand, some days it beats me into the floor.  Chronic pain is not a fun guest in anyone’s life… having it move in to live with you just vile.

After nearly 20 years of a slow spiral into higher and higher levels of pain that result in lesser and lesser levels of function & mobility, medications are a mandatory necessity in order to beat pain back enough to function and have any kind of life.  Daily doses of two medications keep things ticking along, but once every 8 weeks, my dad [ArchonsDen] and I travel nearly an hour to a clinic that offers a more strategic pain treatment.  The Dr. that oversees this clinic is one of very few that are willing to do this kind of work in our area as there has been a great deal of bad press about Dr’s that prescribe too much to people who are in real pain and accuse them of creating a world of addicts.  There are strict rules for Dr’s that run any kind of pain clinics and what you can expect to receive, personally I am glad for what I do get and see my family Dr for anything else I may need.

Tomorrow I am due for my treatment, an IVI [intravenous infusion] that will effectively numb my nerves and make all my muscles get all sleepy and dozy for a day or two so that my pain levels sort of reset themselves at a lower level.  It is like the shots of freezing you get with dental work or when you get stitches.  It is the same medication actually, just in a slightly different format and dosage; as an IV rather than shots that treats the whole body, not just one area.  It puts a body in sort of a twilight state [not THAT twilight, no vampires are involved in this treatment!] and blocks the neurons’ ability to transmit pain signals.  This brief period of nerve blockage numbs the pain, reduces inflammation caused by nerve irritation and reduces the amount of pain that is registered by the nerves.  It by no means removes the ability to feel pain, but brings a level of relief to the all day, every day growl of the pain troll.

Patients are only allowed this treatment 6 times per 12 months by the governmental bean counters and that averages out to every 8 weeks that I get one.  This 8 week cycle means that for the last 1-3 weeks it is “Crash Time” and it can be long & slow or short and hard.  This round was a short and hard one, so the pain troll has been a nasty bugger this past week.  Despite the massive pain spikes, I have managed to do many things and keep at some of the smaller chores, but have paid the price in requiring additional pain meds and sleep to deal with roaring pain and/or exhaustion, so all is not without the checks and balances.  

No matter how cruel the troll is, it does not steal my positive mindset or my stubborn nature and I am rallying on until tomorrow, making plans and tottering about the little things I can manage until then….